The scruffy little city.

I wanted to write today about my city.  My home town the scruffy little city in the valley.  The city i have spent most my life in.  The city my kids were born in and the city they are raised in and around.  I am very proud to be from knoxville.  It is a great city for the most part. 

This is a city that is just big enough to have great things happening in it and around it.  We are so close to the beautiful mountains and so many things to do and see.   I have the chance to live in a history making area.  we lead the way in a lot of country changing movements in this area.  WE are a strong people that believe in this country and what it is.  I am so very proud to be from this area.  I grew up most my life here and while i love to travel and see other places coming home to this area makes me truly happy. 

I love the downtown area cause it si not to big to not be able to handle it.  i love market square it is an amazing place for this city to come together.  I love west knoxville where you can buy anything and get stuck on kingston pike for hours.  i love west towne mall where you can see ever teenager in knoxville walk around and make horrible fashion choices. 

We may not be the most progressive city and be the leader on most things but we are a great city and i am proud to be from here the scruffy little city in the valley. 

READ THIS

So Many things to write about and not enough space or time.  I do wish i could write in this blog more but internet is not an expense i can afford at this point.  

The events of the last few days have changed my life.  I am so blessed to have the people in my life that i do. i know what i mean to the people that are truly close to me and leaving a job or other changes in my life hasn't changed any of that.  I am so thankful for these people because they give me hope.  There is one lady in my life that has shown me hope of a marriage not by liking me or even at that level.  But she has taught me by having a marriage that has lasted though thick and thin by relying on the promises God told her.  Because of her example i know that there is a woman out there for me that i will not have to compromise for and i will love with my heart because God will bring her to me when it is time for me to know her.  I know that there is true commitment in people and someone that will stick it out when times get tough and when they are great.  

I also want to say that i have learned a lot about judging.  Not judging people but situations and times that i am in.  If we come into a situation and have an open heart and are truly open for what comes our way then every interaction can change your life.  If you look at your life a little bigger then you normally give it credit for and see that you make and impact either positive or negative on everyone you come in contact with then you will truly see what life is about.  

I hope these words find you awesome.  

Peace.  

Chapters in life

Chapters in your life.  

As I have been in the past few months been making a lot of changes in my outlooks and in my attitudes in life. and now that i am making a huge change in my career.  These actions make me think about chapters in this story of my life i am writing everyday.  It has made me think ab out my time with people and the connections i have made.  We are the author of our days.  we choose what we will think of and what we will do with our lives.  I do believe it is so important to remember this.  I have heard a a lot of people in my life talk about the next chapter in there life.  i find this funny.  like each chapter of your life has nothing to do with the past one or the future ones.  Go pick up a book and read a chapter in the middle of a book or the last chapter you will not have the full effect of that book or even truly know what is happening.  If we live our life from chapter to chapter then we will never truly have the full effect of our life.  I don't care who you are you change the world in your everyday life.  whether for the good or the bad you change peopls days and their lives. Never ever forget that it is such an amazing ability.  Author your story each and every day.  Paint the painting of your life.  remember when wee breath our last breath not many people remember what they have bought in their lives they remember the experiences and the people that touched there lives.   I have so much i could say about this I could tyupe for days about this subject.  Painting the painting of your life how you want it to be.  you control the brush not anyone else. If we will start to get that in our heads more often that you will understand that where you are in your life is right where you are supposed to be because it is what you have chosen for ourselves by our thoughts and actions.  This is a truth of the universe i know it may be hard to hear but it is the truth.  once you start to take the responsibly then you will start to change your situation. It wont happen over night but you control.  A great quote it you either have results or excuses you choose.  

Thanks for reading i wish i could write you more but i don't have internet any more.  Thank you again.  

Dating and the crazy world we live in

It has been forever since i had the chance to blog.  I have been writing some but not able to post since i don't have internet.  any ways enough about that back to the subject at hand.   My life has gone though so many changes.  My mind set has changed and my world view.  i am so blessed and if you are reading this you are blessing my life..

So the subject that i wanted to talk about is dating.  Most of my friends that would read this don't have to deal with dating but i do.  I have learned some lessons about dealing with other people though dating that are priceless.

I have learned that when dealing with others they have their own issues and agendas.  They have their own issues and hang ups.  dealing with a free dating site brings up its own problems.  Some people are ready for that relationship and some are truly not but they are trying things out and putting you at risk to do this.  As someone who feels the moment and lives with an open heart you have to learn that people will hurt you because they don't know how else to act.  You have to put yourself out there to get something back.  unless you give of yourself you will never and i mean never have something great.  I have found that since my intentions are so different then most men that i am looked at as a liar and someone that is just trying to get in someones pants.  I think this is funny.  My intentions for dating are for something amazing and life changing.  It is funny for me to date at this point i have been mostly single for 2 years now.  I have had some relationships but most have not worked out for one reason or another.  I have learned so much about myself and how i interact with people.  I have so very blessed.  I have met some great people whether they are still in my life or not i have met some great ones.  Most people that you meet are only in your life for a few days to weeks because they are after one thing and one thing only.  but i truly enjoy making a connection with people and sharing some of myself with them.  There are times that you get down and get rejection after rejection which in the 2 years is all i have had since i am still single.  Some of the rejection has come from me some from the women.  but that rejection is such a blessing it has taught me so much.  My friends have been there to build me back up and help me though the bad times.  I thank every friend that i have for everything they have done for me.

So i guess the point of this ramble is that even though rejection and strife you are given gifts.  When you start to see these gifts the strife and rejections stop happening because you see the value in everything.

Thank you for reading.

human nature

I know that the subject of human nature is huge and is something that I can’t even seem to touch with a blog.  I want to talk about the human interactions that we have amongst each other.  Though out the 20^th century a lot of books and other forms of media have tried to put this subject into a few chapters and to teach you how to use this to be happier and to have great interactions.  I am not going to tell you some that I have read but in my short 31 years on this earth I have read a few as have most people in sales.  These books mostly speak of the same things over and over again as do most self-help books.  And I feel I can sum them up in a few points and I wanted to share those today.  I believe we do need to care about how we interact with others in life and we should take time to become better people when is comes to interacting with the people in and around our life.  You never know what interaction in life can lead to something great either for you or someone else.  Remember you don’t know where other people are in their lives so use the golden rule in every interaction. 

The first point that most every book about human interactions talks about is listening.  But not just listening but actually hearing what others have to say.  So many times we in life we are just waiting for the other person to shut up so we can say what we want to say in reply.  We are not actually listening to what they are saying we assume what they are going to say by the first few words they say.  Just think if you could go into every interaction with a fresh set of eyes and not draw conclusions on what others have said to you.  I believe this is the most important not because they will say something different but because everyone deserves to be heard in life.  Just like you people care more about what they are saying than anything else you can say or do.  People care about their problems their issues not yours.  But not only that it is important to treat that person based on themselves and not based on the past and how others have treated you or even how that person has treated you in the past.  Think about the friends you say are the best friends in your life.  Think about their actions toward you?  Have you ever said that is a great friend he talks over me when I talk.  That guy is my best friend because he knows what he is going to say before I even finish my sentence.  No you say that he is a great friend because he listens to me and truly cares.  He takes time to hear what I have to say before he says anything.  That is what a good friend does so why shouldn't we do that to everyone we meet.  Why shouldn't we treat everyone as a good friend in life?  I think we should.  That is the first point of human interaction I have learned. 

Stay tuned I will talk about the second one tomorrow.  If I have internet lol  

those colored glasses

I have heard the saying what other people think of you in none of your business.  And that is true in a lot of ways.  You should never change yourself for what someone else thinks and what they want you to be.  You should be true to your true self.  The self that does not listen to those other people.  The slef that is driven by your true passions in life.  With this being said what people think of you is somewhat relevant in life.  Perception is important in the world.  How people perceive you has a lot to do with your interactions in this world.  People only want to be around people that they perceive to be enjoyable to be around.  They only want people in their life that makes them feel better and lifts them up. 

I want to talk about some perceptions of me that I have been told.  When I was depressed and going though my divorce and losing my children a lot of “friends” perceived me as depressed and pushed me away from their lives.  So when we as humans perceives someone as needing help and reaching out a lot of time we push them away for the ease of our lives.  And when we do that these people get further away from what they need.  So this part of human nature is flawed like most parts.  But that perception of that person being depressed stays with them and clouds people’s vision of them.  So that when they see a status update or have an interaction with that person they take it in a negative light.  So it is now harder for that person to be accepted by those same groups he was one in because he must counteract those perceptions.  Even though the person has come though depression it is like an addiction it is something that is easier for them to slip back into especially without a good friend to help them though that time.  So it is a vicious circle that the person endures.  So to change that perception and be accepted again is a everyday fight to not show any weakness or depression.  Depression is that hardest thing I have ever overcome and I am proud that I have.  I am proud to have done it mostly on my own without “friends” and “family”.  But that does not mean that we with depression don’t need that friend and should be isolated. 

Another perception of me is that I am a player.  Because I have many “friends” that are female and that I won’t commit to a relationship after 2-3 dates.  This one is the funniest one in my eyes because the true desire of my heart is to find that one.  But you can see where this one would prevent me from finding that one.  So with this perception on me I am not given a chance.  And that is how this dating world works and it is very frustrating.  When women hear you say you are honest they start to distrust you not because anything that you have done but due to what others have done to them.  So when you are my age and dating you are not just having to win over the other person but having to combat what others have done to that person.  So to date someone you must take into consideration all what has happened to this person in their dating life. 

Perception is such a huge thing in this world we live in.  I love the quote “All angry, fear, and despair comes from a wrong perspective.”  How we are perceived changes how people interact with us.  What people think of me is none of my business but how people perceive me is important.  A lot of people say that doesn’t matter wait till you sit in an apartment alone every night and see if they care how people perceive them.  I have been alone for a very long time now I haave found strength I never knew I had and I love it.  I am happier today then I have been in years.  But being alone gets old and wears down the mind.  Not having those people in your life that will listen and help you though the hard times makes life wear down on you and lead you down paths in your mind no one should go. 

I have 2 intentions in writing this one is selfish and one is unselfish.  The first is to vent and to get some things that are on my mind out of my head.    The other is to impart some compassion to you.  If you have someone in your life even if it is a distant friend and you see they are going down a negative road reach out to them.  You may be the person that saves their life.  Please show the depressed compassion.

Comfortable

I wrote this about a week ago.  

As I watch the Olympics I am reminded of the grandness of this world and this nation.  So many times we get in our comfort zones and do the things that we normally do and we lose those great things to the things that make us feel comfortable.  To achieve anything great we must go though an uncomfortable time.  We must reach into the unknown.  If you look at any great things done in this world they have been done when people stop doing what they were comfortable with and stepped out on faith.  We can live a normal life by doing the things that make us feel comfortable.  Think about it.  If we don’t have pain from working out then we are not going to change and we are not going to have the fit body we are working for.  We must push ourselves and become comfortable in the unknown.  Live in the moment and step out in faith.