Why should i give you my time. "friend"

First off i will still be using this blog for more of a journal when i want people to read whats going on in my life.   EDDAVATE will be for my motivational stuff.

What has been on my mind the past few days is why in the hell would i give someone my time when they only come around when they need a pick me up or when it is convenient to them.  In my dating life since being divorced i have been treated so horrible and put on the back burner so much.  I have friends that only wanna come around when they don't have a bf or gf..  Then i am their best friend until the next.  A lot of guys talk about the friend zone in life and i am ok with the friends zone if it is a true friendship.  But to be honest most are not.  They want you around to give them attention and when you are not needed you are trashed.  it i sad because life could be so much better with good friendships.  When it comes to dating my dating life has been a joke.  i know i am not the best looking guy in this world but i am one hell of a guy.  i know i have a broken front tooth but i am still a catch.  When that right one finds that out and opens up to me they will find something amazing.  But to be ignored talked to like a dog and treated the way i have been it uncalled for.  On every dating profile i read i want an honest man.  That won;t treat me bad.  how do you ever think you will get that if you still date the same douche bag looking trash that you always have.  And when you get a guy that does pay his bills supports his children and works 2 jobs you ignore him and what he is.  I am better then that will ever be.  I love how women will just talk to you when they want sokmething.  But hey i am just venting at this point.  I am blessed beyond belief and on the road to my full potential.  So when they look back and see me on TV.  they can tell their family that is the guy i stood up.  Have fun

Thanks again for reading.

The Phoenix

Though burning and ash

Though scorch and pain

Though the agony of hell

And the burning of every cell

A new being is born

A Stronger, more determined

More beautiful and true being

A being that learned though the pain

Is born strength and beauty

He is ready to fly again

He is ready to be what he was meant to be

The Phoenix



The pain of love

Love is a word that is given and taken away so much in the world today.  I truly believe love can heal all wounds and love can make a way though anything in life.  Love is the language of the universe.  When we act in love we are letting the universe that God himself created flow though us. 

     As i have said before since we are made from the divine we ourselves are divine.  God has allowed us to be like him with our own free will to do what we want too.  But he also gave us the responsibility of our decisions.  He allows us to make what ever decision we want but we must live with those consequences.  I truly believe this is the ultimate love to allow someone you love so much to make up their own mind about things.  But to know that those decisions have consequences is even greater.  to know that we can prosper from our decisions to know that we alone control our fate on this earth is an amazing thing.  I am so thankful for this ability.  No one controls us.  We make our own decisions in this life and where ever we are in life is because we choose to be there.  This is such a powerful statement.  That the universe that flows though us puts us in situations based about who we are and what our energy is.  I am so thankful today for this ability.  

so you think you know me

So you think you know me.  

You think you know my thoughts

You think you know my reasons

Your decisions are based off the past

they are based off of others. 

Your eyes are tinted with the past

and the actions of others

You think you can predict what i will do

Because of what others have done. 

You have taken no time to know my intent

or to learn who i am

you base your decisions off others

because of this you lose this moment

and this awesome person that stands in front of you. 

Your inner voice

Thank you once again for taking the time to click that link and read what I write.  

So much of life is what the inner voice tells us.  We can be totally disabled by what our inner voice tells us.  We can treat others like total shit because we perceive what they say as lesser.  It all goes back to the inner voice. Lets make an example of this.  Take a death in the family which is one of the worst things anyone has to go though to lose a loved one is very hard.  We can look it as losing someone and they are gone forever.  Or we can say it was their time to take the journey we all will take and they are at peace now.  Because the truth is we all die.  The second look doesn't mean that you will nto hurt from the lose and that is normal and you need that time but when our inner voice speaks we must watch what it is saying and make sure it is lined up with where we want to be in life.  If we can teach this voice to look for what we have and not what we do not then you will live a live of gratitude and that is a life that is kick ass.  

 All religions talk about this voice. Some say that it will automatically change and some religions talk about how to change this voice to line up with what you truly want. This is where the changes in life must be made before any success can be made.  Cause if you always see life as the negative you will never have to confidence to get out there and live your dreams.  Over the past few days my voice has been very negative.  Finding the things wrong in my life and not seeing all the things that are awesome.

Luckily i have caught this and can work on this though meditation.  I wanted to share this with everyone because i believe me being open may help you with what you are going though.  

This writing is a short one i just wanted to share.  Thank you again for reading.   

WHO AM I>

This Blog is a writing that i am truly writing for me.  I am sharing so that some may get inspiration from it.  I hope that you enjoy my writing and i hope that you share them with others.  I would love to get my writings out there so please share on your facebook or twitter.  Thank you again for your time.

In my reading and meditations with deepak chopra he teaches there is 3 soul questions we should ask ourselves though out the day at important times.  They are who am i, What do i want, and what is my purpose/karma.  I wanted to write about the first one while i was working at target tonight i found myself mediatating on this question.  Asking myself this over and over again.  Who am i.  Who am i.  this si such a powerful questions because the answer can change every single time you ask it.  We are multi dimensional being on this earth.  When i ask myself this question i get answers like Father, lover, steelers fan, peaceful, Meditator, and so many more.  I am so many things.  This is such an interesting concept to be some many different things but yet one person.  I truly believe this is a gift given to us by God.  We are created in his image therefore just as he is multi dimensional so can we be.  We all have divine power in us.  he has given us the power to change ourselves into what we want and need to be in this life.  There are so many stories of people changing themselves and there situations to become stronger and better in this life.  i truly believe this is God in us and this is the abilities he gave us.  So many times we look to the sky to change our situations but if we will jsut be honest and authentic with ourselves then we can change our situations in time.  It may not happen over night but true change i don't believe does.  I am so thankful God made me who i am and made me with the ability with Hard work and bring honest with myself i can change any situation.  I think one of the biggest sins is not being honest with yourself and the desires and abilities God placed in you.  I think it is a smack in Gods face.  I have been on a long road of honesty.  More then likely i have lied to you if you are reading this because i am a recovering pathological liar.  I had to make stories to make my life better because i didn't think i was good enough.  but has i have learned in the past for months and weeks i am AWESOME.  I believe once we get how awesome we really are and live that authentic life then we unlock so much power to live the true life we are meant to live.

 Thank you again for reading.  Please share with your friends and family.

Random thoughts and writings: Your lens

Random thoughts and writings: Your lens: In the past few weeks i have started to see something about life that is true for everyone.  I have come to learn that life is not ...

Your lens

In the past few weeks i have started to see something about life that is true for everyone.  I have come to learn that life is not always as it seems.  This life is truly about what lens you look though.  God gave us an amazing mind and an amazing brain.  we have a system in our brain called the reticulating access system or as david wood calls it the ras.  This ras pulls the things out of unconscious thought to conscious thought.  david did a great job in describing it as our secret service.  The secret service doesn't look for people cheering for the president they look for people that may harm him.  That is because they are trained that way.  So it is with our ras system if we train it to see the bad in the world it will but if we train it to see the positive in the situation it will bring that to conscious thought.  This system has a lot to do with our happiness in any situation.  I am so programmed to look at the negative that almost every situation i find the negative.  There was a point in my life that almost every day i would have a mental breakdown about some situation anything that was change would freak me out.  With the knowledge about the ras system i have learned to take chances.  Some of them are awesome and i am so glad that i have made them.  Some i am glad i did them but my are they a learning experience.  in everything in life there is a lesson and as i have said in the past learn your lesson and you will get your blessing.  This ras system is so important to your success and your happiness.  

Take for example myself.  I am truly an entrepreneur in my spirit i crave to have freedom in my life and want the ability to be with my kids whenever i can and to work hard when i am not with them.  That being said in the past few months i have had a few opportunities to start a small business come my way from a lot of people.   But since my ras is set up to see the way it will fail i have let those things go.  i am changing my ras which is a slow process thanks to some of the behaviors i have learned it is changing in a lot of ways.  but that ras has kept me safe which is its job but the juicy part of life is not lived in the safe it is lived in the unknown out of the comfort zone.  

i am so thankful for the lessons i have learned in that past few months and thankful for the people in my life and the ones leaving and coming.  each person has taught me lessons.  I am not perfect i have my bad days but like david says why does it have to be a bad day how about just a bad few minutes.  

My next project is to work on my sacrificing for others before myself and make myself number one in life.  cause when you love yourself to put yourself first you will love others more deeply and be more authentic which creates deeper relationships which creates a KICK ASS LIFE

I truly hope this writing finds you Awesome.  Contact me on facebook.  Lets talk.  

My finding on success.

The past few months. 

Over the past few months I have been doing a lot of studying on success and the people the world defines as successful.  I have not done as extensive training as a lot of people have but I have found three traits that run though most of them.  I am going to be adopting these three into my life over time. 

The first is the ability to move on very quickly when things go bad or issues are created.  To move on and find a solution.  This ability is about not wasting energy on the bad thing that happened but to put that energy toward the solution.  This ability with relationships with people is immediate forgiveness.  To move on from the emotion of the problem that happened between the two of them and to forgive.  In business and life the ability is about know that something bad happened experiencing it and moving to the solution as soon as possible.  I am finding more and more as I learn the habits of the successful that this is the only way to go toward your passion.  Which leads me to the next trait.                                 

Enthusiasm is the second trait.  Successful people in this world will not take on anything they cannot be passionate about.  This trait I believe is more important than the facts around the situation.  If you are enthusiastic about your life and positive about the outlook on whatever you are doing whether it be in work, family, or love life then this area of your life with grow and become successful.  And to truly be positive and enthusiastic about any situation you have to be honest. 

Honesty I believe is the key to it all.  I believe it is the key to the kick ass life.  If you are not honest with yourself and others I truly don’t believe you can be happy.  Because you will always have something to hide and something to be scared of.  Honesty is the key to it all.  Be honest with compassion all the time.  When I talk about this I hear you have to lie sometimes to protect people’s feelings.  I say no you don’t. I truly believe people want honesty in their lives.  If you tell the truth with compassion and learn the art of talking to people honesty will set you free. 

  

Thrist

On the days I feel thirst on the days I feel alone in this desert of life.  I feel like around the corner is someone to help when I round that corner there is no one there.  I feel alone and fear the worst I will thirst to death.  Then you God come in and quench the thirst that I feel.  I lay here alone until I reach out for you.  Even when I have turned my back on you the love that you have for me shines though.  I look at my life and I see how you are molding me everyday to be the person you have created me to be.  I see the talents you have given to me and I see the connection to others you have put in me.  I feel a connection to every living soul and the ones that have went before me.  When I quite this mind of the flesh I see into these connections.  I learn from the ones around me and the ones that have already moved on.  I see the peace that you lord bring to a heart like mine.  I feel that this peace comes from your love for me which is the greatest gift you have given me.  You have taught me to love everyone on this earth and to bless them not curse them.  The love that you have for me lord is beyond anything I can imagine or dream.  I thank you for the gifts you have given me and the desires in my heart you have given me.  I know that you can quench the thirst in my heart because you planted that thirst there so I would crave you and crave your sweet milk of the energy of spirit.  I know that some people look at you different then I do lord.  I know that you act in love and love me.  I accept that I will fall short of your glory and that you have sent an amazing sacrifice to me so that I can be worth to have my thirst quenched.  

The city of bridges.

Has i have had time to look back on my trip with my father to his home land.  I am amazed at how much i am like my father and very proud to be like him.  But also how different we are at the same time.  I learned so much about my past and where i came from.  Seeing where my family was formed and hearing the good and bad stories about them was one of the best things to happen to me when you look at your roots some things become clear about what you think and feel.  Some of these things we must over come some we must hone and make them better.  I love seeing my family and am so glad we got to connect.  the series of events that happened while we were up there still amaze me.  The way everything fell into place and the way that we received peace was amazing and i am so blessed by God.  I will tell all of you if there is something pulling at your heart do it you have no idea why but it may set someone free.

My aunt dolly passed away and a blog about the past of my family without saying something about her would be incomplete.  She was an amazing woman.  I was not close to her and didn't see her much in my life but every time I did see her she opened her heart and her arms in love.  She had a heart of love and energy like no other.  No matter what happened to her in her life she always acted in love.  When she stepped into a room that room lite up with her energy.  I Loved her Pittsburgh accent and listening to her talk is something i will miss.  I know that your passing is a blessing and that you are now is peace aunt Dolly.  I am so happy for you that you got to transition to that next realm of life.  I know you have enjoyed seeing your mother again and all your family that has gone before you.  I thank God that i had you in my life and i will take that energy you taught me throughout my life.


Has we drove though and around the city i had some things hit my heart and hit my mind.  It is amazing what people working together can do.  The city of Pittsburgh was devastated by the unions and the closing of the steel mills.  But the city worked hard to clean up and change the image of the city and they built the city back to a great city that it is.

It was so good to see and be in the city.  But it did make me love my home more then ever.  i will have to say i love Knoxville very much and am so proud to be from here.  We live in a beautiful city.

Thanks for reading again.  I know i don't post much bu i hope you like what you read.  Please comment If you can.  

The tunnels

The trip to Pittsburgh

 

As I drove though the tunnels of my second city

I found a connection that had never been there before. 

I found myself transforming the way I look at things and the past. 

The tunnels seemed to have an effect on me. 

As I saw where my family was born and where they came from

I found myself Loving the past more and more. 

As I Broke bread with family I haven’t seen in a decade

I found myself lost in the moment and proud of myself and my family

As I Found out that a family member passed.

I found peace and to know that all things come to an end. 

As I saw my father in his natural habitat

I found that we are an amazing Family

Love doesn’t describe how I feel about this situation. 

I am in amazement of this entire experience. 

So much love was shown to me that I am amazed.  

Girlfriend

The past few weeks have been very interesting to me.  i have grown so much and learned so much about myself and who i am.  This is awesome to live this life.  i have learned my addiction to worrying and that worrying about not having money is actually what has kept me broke.  But what this blog is about it quite simple I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.  WOW and actually girlfriend.  lol I say that because it has been over 2 years since i had a woman in my life that wasn't just a friend or something.  I mean i have dated people and that has been great but to actually have a girlfriend is quite different.  Someone that isn't stuck on themselves and is willing to understand we all have faults.  It is nice to have someone in my life that wants to grow with me.  Anyways this relationship is just in the infant stage and i don't know where it is going but i am enjoying it for now and loving every minute of it.  I am so blessed in my life.  This gratitude thing can change your life folks.  Write down 3 things a day that went well 3 things that you are thankful for each day and your life will change.  Have a great night all thank you again for taking time to read my writings.  i wish i could post more but no internet.  thank you again i love you for reading this.  

The Princess of my World.

Yesterday was the Birthday of the princess of my world. 

4 Years ago she came into this world in such a different situation then her big brother. It was a different set of parents this time.  They were not in love as before they were just making it by.  Both had changed in life and changed in the reception of this life. As she came into this world the emotions were so different.  Not better not worse but different.  She came in like a force and changed my life forever.  Not in a immediate way like her brother but in a different softer way much like a true woman changes the life of any man.  She knew she was my princess from her first breath and has acted like it every day.  She knows exactly who she is and she is not ashamed of it or what she wants in life.  She Is the most detrimined and focused person i have ever met.  when she wants something she is going to get it come hell or high water.  I love this about her.  I pray every day that she never ever losses that drive and ambition.  My princess is going to do amazing things in the world i see it in her eyes.  We celebrated her birthday by going on a daddy/daughter Date.  This was an amazing night.  I truly enjoyed being with just my princess.  Just to see her open up to me like she never has.  I love my princess and i know that just like when she came into this world that love with grow and grow. 

Thank you for taking time to read again. 

The day I became a father

Part of this writing will be just a blog and part a poem.  For the last 6 years i have been a father.  This is something that has both scared me and brought me great joy.  The tears of joy that have came on and off over the past few years have been both cleansing and amazing.  Each day i am amazed by the level of love that this boy has brought into my life.  Tristan Michael Weathers Changed my life when he took his first breath. I can remember and still see the first time our eyes first met.   I can remember when i was a work and go that call from Jennifer she was in labor.  nothing could stop me from getting to that hospital.  Then we had that long wait of 12 hours then he made his appearance and mine and jennifer's life was changed forever.  Me and Jennifer didn't last but that never changed how I looked at my boy.  He has grown into to such a smart and amazing child.  He has become such an inspiration to me.  I am so thankful to have him as my son.  I can not describe the connection i have with him.  He is my best friend and i can not wait to see how he grows up.  I wish i could take him though life without any hurt but i know he will hurt and he will experiance pain.  I just hope that he learns how awesome he is and doesn't suffer from the things I did.  HE is the light of my life and from his first breath he changed my world.  I know that i am a great father to him and he is an amazing son to me.  It seems like there was not life before him and i couldn't image it with out him.  The one thing i am most proud of is my kids.  And my boy is someone i am very proud of.  I know that he is going to change the world.

When you took your first breath

You took mine away

When you took your first steps

You made me stumble

When you called me dad

You left me speechless

When you show me love

you teach me what love is

When you learn new things

you teach me how to live

When came into this world

You destroyed everything i had known

Thank you son for being you. 

Why don't we get along

First off it has been forever since i have had the ablity to blog.  With no internet at home it gets difficult to post writings.  I have been writing some but not as much as i would like.  But I am enjoying this life more and more each day.  It is amazing to look back and see where you came from.  How much you have changed in the year but still stayed the same at your core.  Learning to become your true self.  Learning to live the life that you were meant too.  When you do this there is a biproduct.  It is that people just don't get along and don't mesh. 

I have found the more i become myself and the less i actually judge the less people in my life are turned away and this is a good thing.  When you are living as your true self and not living your life based on what others think about you or feel about you this drives some people away becase they can not change you.  This is not a selfish thing it is actually very selfless because you are not seeking anything from anyone.  You are just being yourself and giving of yourself.  When you are like this some people are truly drawn to your energy and sprit.  It is an amazing thing to feel that draw.  But some people that you just don't click with are drawn away and that is not a bad thing because you are not based in what others think of you.  It is amazing once you start to become your self. 

The scruffy little city.

I wanted to write today about my city.  My home town the scruffy little city in the valley.  The city i have spent most my life in.  The city my kids were born in and the city they are raised in and around.  I am very proud to be from knoxville.  It is a great city for the most part. 

This is a city that is just big enough to have great things happening in it and around it.  We are so close to the beautiful mountains and so many things to do and see.   I have the chance to live in a history making area.  we lead the way in a lot of country changing movements in this area.  WE are a strong people that believe in this country and what it is.  I am so very proud to be from this area.  I grew up most my life here and while i love to travel and see other places coming home to this area makes me truly happy. 

I love the downtown area cause it si not to big to not be able to handle it.  i love market square it is an amazing place for this city to come together.  I love west knoxville where you can buy anything and get stuck on kingston pike for hours.  i love west towne mall where you can see ever teenager in knoxville walk around and make horrible fashion choices. 

We may not be the most progressive city and be the leader on most things but we are a great city and i am proud to be from here the scruffy little city in the valley.