The love of my life.

I have noticed my writings have not been about the most important thing in my life.  A commercial got me thinking about being a dad today.  I can remember the day i became a dad like it was yesterday.  I can remember the moment Tristan came into this world and made me a father.  It was the moment i found true purpose in life.
To be a dad is an amazing thing if you truly love it.  I thank tristan and teagan for coming into this world and making me their father.  i love being a dad and teaching my kiddos and seeing them grow.  i don't get to see it every day any more.  This is not always a bad thing as i can see the changes more when i do see them.  They grow daily and learn new things.  As i look at pictures over the years the changes that have happened amaze me.

I remember when Tristan was a baby we would spend sunday mornings cuddled on the couch while tristan slept on my chest.  I remember teagan's first steps though the house with tristan cheering her on.  I remember when tristan dropped teagan.  These memories are awesome memories and will stay with me my entire life.  But what i love is the moments that we have every day i have them.  the little moments in life that take my breath away.  No one can pull my heart like my babies.  This blog is just about my kids and talking about them.

Seeking in the external

Searching in the external. 

Human nature over the years has changed so much.  It was very natural for someone as few as 60 years ago to truly find happiness and judgement internally.  To judge yourself and your worth off of motives and not just success for failure seems to be a lost art.  So much of our lives these days are judged on success or failure.  It seems that success is more important than a person’s motives for the action.  This leads to a few things in the human psychosis.  It leads us to base our worth off of our results and not our character.  It leads us to seek for worth and approval in the external not the internal motives in ourselves and others.   This also leads us to selfish ways for get that approval in the external which in turn leads us away from compassion.  I think that is one of the biggest losses of this change is the compassion that is lost.  This world becomes a very sad place without compassion. 

                When we seek the external for our worth we find that we are never worth of anything.  Rejection is the ultimate defeat in this lifestyle.  When we are rejected or pushed off we feel our world is caving in.  We feel that if people don’t like us we are unlikeable.  I know I have been down this road.  We all go down this road in our lives reaching for something in the external to tell us we are worthy of life and happiness.  We may find happiness for a time because we are accepted for a time or because we have found a new high.  But that happiness is normally short lived or comes crashing down.  We connect with someone not for who they are but what they can do for us.  This is a very selfish way of looking at things cause once they have stopped giving us things we send them out of our lives.  So even when we have that acceptance it truly doesn’t benefit either person because we are just going from one person to the next.

                I believe we must start to look internal for self-worth and self-esteem.  I believe true happiness is found in this realm and not in the external.  I believe when we peel away the layers of ego that we have put on our true selves to have other accept us.  Only then do we find our true selves and we can be truly happy.  And this true happiness is not based on anyone else and no one can take it away.  No one can take away or affect your true self because this is not dependent on external factors.  I believe this view and perspective is key to find equanimity.  To find equanimity is to live on a plain of conscience that is not affected by the good or bad.  You are always in a state of contentment. 

Just remember you define who you are and your happiness 100%.  No one else or nothing else can determine your true happiness.  

Every moment

Growth is the willingness to let reality be new every moment. 

Deepak Chopra

This is what I wanted to write a short column about this statement.  Just think what it would be like to live every moment as it was a new moment of life.  For the previous moments and future moments effect the ones that you are in.  I believe this is a big part of the key to happiness.  Not that I live that way.  The past few days worry and anxiety have ruled my head and drove me to stress and pain that I should not have.  It is amazing how moments that have not even happened and situations that may never happen can ruin the moment you are in.  If we are always thinking about the future it never gets here because when it does you are looking to the future again. 

        To live in every moment as it’s own moment would be to live with an excitement that each moment is there.  To understand that this moment is the most important cause it is the only one that you have.  I hope that one day I can come closer to truly living like this. 

Namaste

Rejection

Last time I blogged I said the next thing I would write about was rejection.  And I bet a lot of you thought this was going to be a negative writing.

I have learned that rejection is an amazing thing.  It does a couple things.  It teaches us about ourselves.  It causes us to look inside as to the reason for the rejection.  Most of the time it is not anything we have done but something the other person saw in us that scared them about themselves.  But what we do is look inside judge ourselves for what others my think.  This gets us away from our true self.

I guess I need to explain what I mean by true self.  I have learned from Deepak Choopra that we each have two selves.  On the the ego self which is what we want others to see and is made by what others think and feel about us.  Then there is our true self this is our passions our desires what truly makes us tick each and every day.  These our are true passions not influenced by what others think or feel about them.  Now that I have explained that back to the topic.

Rejection also takes the people out of our life that would have wasted our time.  These people that have rejected us are not supposed to be in our lives for a reason.  Life has a way of putting people in it that we need for that time only.  Everyone has a part to play in our story.  Has Shakespeare said “Life is like a play we merely go though the stages of life acting it out.”  Even in dealing with the ultimate rejection in life of death.  It is all part of the journey.  Everyone gets rejected and everyone has to overcome this.  

Living in the moment

I actually wanna start this on a different subject and the get to the point.  i was actually going to blog about my bitching with facebook and so called friends.  but i decided that wasn't worth my time.  those people aren't worth my time so i am going to write about living in the moment.

As i have learned in the past few weeks from teachers such as deepak choopra, T.D.jakes, and tony robbins living in the moment connects you with the universe.  This allows you to not only enjoy the moment you are in but actually be present in your own life.  so many times we look to a future that when it gets here we don't enjoy it because we are looking to the next future.  Learning what i have in the past few weeks has changed my life.  learning to live in the moment is one of the greatest lessons i have been taught.  it allows you to truly live the life you are here to live it allows you to tap into that moment and feel everything it has to offer.  It allows you to not let the past affect you and hold you down.  I know i have said to myself easier said then done alot of times to the teachings i have had.  but i had to learn i was not going to become a guru over night.  I would have to move slowly and though changing habits.  most of us are addicted to worry and anxiety.  We fit into that everyday because that is how it has always been.  We lose relationships because of it.  We push the people that love us away. All so the we can have the addiction to something that is killing us slowly.  Worry and anxiety put a stress on the body that is hard for it to handle.

Deepak said that when we rush in life our body matches that and speeds up the aging process.  I very much believe this look at the people in life that have rushed though life and had a lot of stressors in life they seem to age a lot faster.  they have more wrinkles more health issues because their internal clock has sped up to match their lifestyle. It is important to slow down in life.  some times you have to go fast and that is fine but if your days are one big blur then you are not truly living your days.  you must live in the moment and breath in the moment to truly enjoy it.

So i know what you are saying easier said then done.  that is what i said and i agree with that statement it is always to just speak something than try to live it.  But it has actually become very easy for me lately.  i have made live in the present my mantra and said it a lot throughout my day.  I am not perfect a lot of days but once you start to flow in the moment it starts to become natural.  meditation has helped me a lot i can tell a big difference the days i make a priority of meditation.  If you say you can't meditate you are wrong there a lot of things out there that will help you and you will not be perfect the first time it has taken me years to get to the point i am at and i am not even getting really deep meditation yet.  Well i hope if you read this it helps you a little bit.  I know my life is changing and going though transformation.