those colored glasses

I have heard the saying what other people think of you in none of your business.  And that is true in a lot of ways.  You should never change yourself for what someone else thinks and what they want you to be.  You should be true to your true self.  The self that does not listen to those other people.  The slef that is driven by your true passions in life.  With this being said what people think of you is somewhat relevant in life.  Perception is important in the world.  How people perceive you has a lot to do with your interactions in this world.  People only want to be around people that they perceive to be enjoyable to be around.  They only want people in their life that makes them feel better and lifts them up. 

I want to talk about some perceptions of me that I have been told.  When I was depressed and going though my divorce and losing my children a lot of “friends” perceived me as depressed and pushed me away from their lives.  So when we as humans perceives someone as needing help and reaching out a lot of time we push them away for the ease of our lives.  And when we do that these people get further away from what they need.  So this part of human nature is flawed like most parts.  But that perception of that person being depressed stays with them and clouds people’s vision of them.  So that when they see a status update or have an interaction with that person they take it in a negative light.  So it is now harder for that person to be accepted by those same groups he was one in because he must counteract those perceptions.  Even though the person has come though depression it is like an addiction it is something that is easier for them to slip back into especially without a good friend to help them though that time.  So it is a vicious circle that the person endures.  So to change that perception and be accepted again is a everyday fight to not show any weakness or depression.  Depression is that hardest thing I have ever overcome and I am proud that I have.  I am proud to have done it mostly on my own without “friends” and “family”.  But that does not mean that we with depression don’t need that friend and should be isolated. 

Another perception of me is that I am a player.  Because I have many “friends” that are female and that I won’t commit to a relationship after 2-3 dates.  This one is the funniest one in my eyes because the true desire of my heart is to find that one.  But you can see where this one would prevent me from finding that one.  So with this perception on me I am not given a chance.  And that is how this dating world works and it is very frustrating.  When women hear you say you are honest they start to distrust you not because anything that you have done but due to what others have done to them.  So when you are my age and dating you are not just having to win over the other person but having to combat what others have done to that person.  So to date someone you must take into consideration all what has happened to this person in their dating life. 

Perception is such a huge thing in this world we live in.  I love the quote “All angry, fear, and despair comes from a wrong perspective.”  How we are perceived changes how people interact with us.  What people think of me is none of my business but how people perceive me is important.  A lot of people say that doesn’t matter wait till you sit in an apartment alone every night and see if they care how people perceive them.  I have been alone for a very long time now I haave found strength I never knew I had and I love it.  I am happier today then I have been in years.  But being alone gets old and wears down the mind.  Not having those people in your life that will listen and help you though the hard times makes life wear down on you and lead you down paths in your mind no one should go. 

I have 2 intentions in writing this one is selfish and one is unselfish.  The first is to vent and to get some things that are on my mind out of my head.    The other is to impart some compassion to you.  If you have someone in your life even if it is a distant friend and you see they are going down a negative road reach out to them.  You may be the person that saves their life.  Please show the depressed compassion.